5 Tips for Talking to Your Teen About Starting Therapy
Guidance From a Seasoned Teen Eating Disorder Therapist
As a therapist who has worked with teens and families for over a decade, I understand how difficult it can feel to start the conversation about therapy. Whether your teen is struggling with disordered eating, anxiety, depression, or other challenges, the idea of “going to therapy” can evoke resistance, confusion, or fear. It’s natural—therapy is vulnerable, and for many teens, the unknown can feel overwhelming.
However, I also know from years of clinical experience that therapy can be transformative, especially when introduced in a thoughtful and compassionate way. Parents and caregivers play an essential role in setting the tone for this conversation and building trust with their teens.
Here are five tips to guide you through talking to your teen about starting therapy in a way that feels supportive, non-judgmental, and hopeful.
1. Approach the Conversation Calmly and With Curiosity
Starting this discussion can feel intimidating for both you and your teen, so it’s important to approach the topic calmly and intentionally. Choose a time when you’re both in a neutral space—this is not a conversation to have during a fight, after a tough school day, or in a moment of tension. Teens pick up on your energy, so the more grounded you are, the more open they’ll likely feel.
How to Begin the Conversation:
Use open-ended, non-judgmental language: “I’ve noticed you’ve been going through a tough time lately, and I want to make sure you have support. What’s been on your mind?”
Express curiosity and care: “I’m wondering how things have been feeling for you. Are there parts of your life that feel hard or overwhelming right now?”
Normalize therapy as an option: “Therapy is a space where you can talk to someone who isn’t part of your daily life. It’s not about ‘fixing’ you; it’s about giving you tools to feel better and handle things in your own way.”
Avoid framing therapy as a punishment or something you’re “forcing” on them. Instead, position it as a resource—a place where they can gain support and feel understood.
2. Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings
Your teen may respond with skepticism, defensiveness, or even anger at the idea of starting therapy. These are normal reactions. Many teens worry they’ll be judged, misunderstood, or seen as “broken” if they go to therapy. Others might simply feel embarrassed or unsure of what therapy even is.
In these moments, resist the urge to “fix” or minimize their feelings. Instead, focus on validating their emotional experience.
Examples of Validation:
“It’s okay to feel unsure about this. Starting therapy can feel weird or scary at first.”
“It makes sense that you’re worried about what therapy will be like. It’s a new experience, and it’s normal to have questions.”
“It’s okay if you’re angry at me for bringing this up. I want to talk about this because I care about you, and I want you to have the support you deserve.”
Validation doesn’t mean you’re agreeing with everything they say—it means you’re acknowledging their emotions as real and important. Teens want to feel heard, and when you validate their feelings, it builds trust and lowers defenses.
3. Normalize Therapy as a Resource, Not a Stigma
For many teens, therapy feels like a “last resort” or something only for people who are “really struggling.” It’s critical to reframe therapy as a tool for growth and support—something that people from all walks of life benefit from.
One helpful approach is to normalize therapy through examples. You might say:
“Therapy is just like going to the doctor for a check-up, but for your emotional health.”
“A lot of people—kids, teens, and adults—go to therapy to figure out how to deal with stress, relationships, or big emotions. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.”
“Some people go to therapy for years, and others go for just a few sessions to learn some tools. There’s no one right way to do it.”
If you’ve been to therapy yourself, consider sharing your experience in an age-appropriate way. For example:
“I’ve gone to therapy before, and it really helped me work through things I was struggling with.”
Normalizing therapy reduces shame and stigma, helping your teen see it as an opportunity rather than a burden.
4. Offer Your Teen a Sense of Choice and Control
Adolescence is a time when teens are striving for independence and autonomy. If they feel like therapy is being imposed on them, they’re likely to resist. While therapy may ultimately be non-negotiable (especially if there are safety concerns), it’s still important to give your teen a sense of control over the process.
Here are ways to invite their input:
Let them choose the therapist: “I’ve found a couple of therapists who might be a good fit, but I want you to take a look too. We can choose someone together.”
Discuss how therapy works: “You don’t have to talk about anything you’re not ready to share. Your therapist is there to support you, not to judge or pressure you.”
Collaborate on goals: “What would you like therapy to help with? It could be anything—feeling less stressed, having more energy, or just feeling like yourself again.”
By involving your teen in the process, you empower them to see therapy as something they’re choosing, not something being forced upon them.
5. Emphasize the Therapist’s Role as a Safe, Neutral Person
Teens often worry that therapists will “take sides” or report everything back to their parents. They need reassurance that therapy is a safe and confidential space where they can express themselves freely.
Explain to your teen that therapists are there to help—not to judge, lecture, or force them to change. You might say:
“Your therapist’s job is to listen and help you figure out what you need. They’re not there to tell you what to do.”
“What you share with your therapist is private unless there’s a concern about safety. They’ll explain all of this to you during your first session.”
Teens need to know that therapy is their space. When they trust that the therapist is neutral and there to help them—not spy on them—they’re more likely to engage openly in the process.
Final Thoughts
Starting therapy can be a big step for teens, and as a parent or caregiver, your support is invaluable. By approaching the conversation calmly, validating their feelings, and normalizing therapy as a resource, you can help your teen feel more open to the idea.
Remember, therapy is not about “fixing” your teen—it’s about giving them tools, support, and a space to process life’s challenges in a way that feels safe and empowering.
If your teen resists at first, don’t be discouraged. Building trust takes time. Keep the conversation open, continue to show up with curiosity and compassion, and remind them that they’re not alone.
In my years of working with teens and families, I’ve seen firsthand how therapy can transform lives—helping teens not only heal but also build confidence, resilience, and a stronger sense of self. It’s a gift that can support them now and for years to come.
Would you like more specific guidance or examples for your situation? Therapy can feel like uncharted territory, but you don’t have to navigate it alone—neither does your teen. Edie Stark Consulting offers Parent Coaching.
In need of more parenting resources? Check out these blogs for additional support!
Other Professional Services Offered:
Whether you're contemplating starting a group practice or navigating other challenges in the eating disorder treatment field, support is key to success. At Edie Stark Consulting, we are experts in eating disorders, specializing in empowering professionals, parents and media professionals as they navigate all things eating disorders.
Through our four pillars of expertise, we provide:
Business Consulting: Build a thriving, values-based practice that supports both your clients and your lifestyle.
Clinical Consultation: Access ethical, inclusive, and social justice-oriented guidance for your eating disorder work.
Parent Coaching: Navigate your child's recovery with compassionate support and tailored strategies.
Media Consultation: Partner with us to create accurate, inclusive, and impactful media representation of eating disorders.